While the pics have been flowing freely across the sordid parts of the Internet I call home, this year the words, well, they absolutely fucking dried up, didn't they? Let this not stand in the way of a brisk winter stroll through a Drinking About Robots' Top 10 of 2017 though. Grab your hip flasks you beautiful people, and come fire walk with me.
10. Titans Return Quake
Kicking things off is Titans Returns Quake. I picked up Hardhead in a shop and laughed heartily. Mockingly, even. I saw his mold mate online and ordered him so goddamn hard the mouse ended up in traction for a month. The colours, the paint and that headsculpt, man - that headsculpt! Call me shallow but this one is all about the looks.
The best thing about Quake is how humble he remains throughout all of this swooning. The lad doesn't know what he's got and when he does this world will bow down to him.
10. Titans Return Quake
Kicking things off is Titans Returns Quake. I picked up Hardhead in a shop and laughed heartily. Mockingly, even. I saw his mold mate online and ordered him so goddamn hard the mouse ended up in traction for a month. The colours, the paint and that headsculpt, man - that headsculpt! Call me shallow but this one is all about the looks.
The best thing about Quake is how humble he remains throughout all of this swooning. The lad doesn't know what he's got and when he does this world will bow down to him.
9. Wei Jiang Rendsora
Next up is Rendsora from Wei Jiang, an upscaled knock off of an already impressive Voyager toy with an inventive and intuitive transformation at its heart. Rendsora doesn't add a great deal of new to the Megatron tooling (and while the angel in me says that this is the one I should extol the virtues of, the devil in me is already a third of a bottle of whisky in) but does find room to accommodate wrist swivels, some diecast parts and a glossy, premium paint job.
Owning this figure in gloriously large PIMP-HD makes him feel that bit more special, and me that touch more filthy.
8. Power Of The Primes Prime Masters
A late and most welcome entry here at 8, as the POTP line gets under way and one is reminded that *shock horror* Hasbro makes toys to be played with. What we have here are simple, pocket money releases easily dismissed by the adult collector. Scratch the surface and you will find lovely little sculpts that demand to be noticed with a play pattern not to be underestimated.
This takes me right back to my childhood, and these 3 figures were undoubtedly one of my most anticipated releases of the year. They did not disappoint.
7. SparkToys ST-02 Spartacus
Owning this figure in gloriously large PIMP-HD makes him feel that bit more special, and me that touch more filthy.
8. Power Of The Primes Prime Masters
A late and most welcome entry here at 8, as the POTP line gets under way and one is reminded that *shock horror* Hasbro makes toys to be played with. What we have here are simple, pocket money releases easily dismissed by the adult collector. Scratch the surface and you will find lovely little sculpts that demand to be noticed with a play pattern not to be underestimated.
This takes me right back to my childhood, and these 3 figures were undoubtedly one of my most anticipated releases of the year. They did not disappoint.
7. SparkToys ST-02 Spartacus
Smashing in at 7 is the mighty Spartacus from SparkToys, their second outing following 2016's hugely impressive Alpha Pack. In a nutshell, this is magnificent. SparkToys are not a prolific outfit to say the least, but the flipside of this is the time they spend on realising beautifully crafted collectibles and writing powerful erotic fiction.
And with this piece, my cap is doffed. Their War Within homage to the young Decepticon leader blends together a painted finish to die for, hefty build quality, wonderful shelf presence and a light up titty chamber. Sold!
And with this piece, my cap is doffed. Their War Within homage to the young Decepticon leader blends together a painted finish to die for, hefty build quality, wonderful shelf presence and a light up titty chamber. Sold!
6. Iron Factory IF-EX20R Tyrant's Wing Red Starwing
In at 6 is Iron Factory's Wing Of Tyrant series, though specifically IF-EX20R Tyrant's Wing Red, Starwing. The thoroughly fucking convoluted name aside, this is a brilliant take on the IDW comics Seeker design. The transformation is simple but effective, the articulation simply perfect. Paint is luscious, vibrant and generous and the accessories are both abundant and relevant.
I wanted to rope the whole Seeker gang into this but Starwing is the one who drew me towards Seeker completionism like a moth to a flame. I will own every rendition they make of this figure.
5. Mastermind Creations Reformatted Tyrantron
Taking the number 5 spot is an MMC release and yet another Megatron incarnation to hit this list - the mighty Tyrantron. This comic inspired rendition of the world weary former despot immediately impresses with his champagne tinted silver finish, the modular nature of the sculpt allowing the owner to create Megatron's younger, miner form of old is a fantastic bonus and despite some flaws in poseability, this toy simply has it. Star quality.
The headsculpt in particular, capturing the essence of the turmoil within MTMTE's Megatron is frankly perfect, and should go down on record as one of 3P's very best.
While I will accept that his alt modes are hot garbage (though points for shoehorning a Super Megatron homage in there, and one can never have enough dildo tanks), they compromise nothing about the main event, and what an event this robot is. Tyrantron is one of those figures where strength of character rises above function, and I doubt that even Megatron himself couldn't muster a wry smile over that.
4. Mastermind Creations Reformatted Turben
MMC Turben kicks down Number 4's door, demanding instantly that you 'Weapon up, wallflowers!', and does so as my personal definitive iteration of Whirl despite this toy being a patchwork of designs woven together from the characters various representations in comic media. No - this isn't MTMTE Whirl - yes, it absolutely channels what I love about that crazy bastard into plastic toy form.
The fact that he's one of those rare breed of instantly accessible out of the box 3P transforming robots is but another notch on the wonderfully expressive Turben's kill count.
3. Iron Factory IF-EX24 Cannon Chariot
New toy joy at Number 3, or is it that Iron Factory have just smashed Onslaught out of the park and into orbit with Cannon Chariot? Always one of my favourite G1 toys, this beefy little bugger brings together a dash of nostalgia, a splash of tremendous looking sculpt work and sprinkles supremely poseable hand candy all over the top of this delicious treat.
Of course, as the torso of Bruticus/War Giant (a role he pulls off with aplomb), Cannon Chariot is not likely to remain a standalone piece in many collections, yet still remains a cinch to transform with no compromise to either his robot or vehicle forms to accommodate the fact. Judged on that criteria alone this is special, add in the rest and this this makes for one of IF's most impressive releases to date.
2. Titans Return Trypticon
Trypticon couldn't not be here. And certainly not any lower than second place. There are so many words to be said about Hasbro finally realising the potential of the Titan Class Citybots, but I think I'll leave it to one pic:
Aaand at the top spot it has to be...
1. Unique Toys Peru Kill
A true masterpiece of a toy, Peru Kill translates Michael Bay's tinfoil pornhole aesthetic into one of the most elegantly designed transforming toys of recent memory.
The initial experience is shock and awe as this beautifully painted, practically scale model Lamborghini unfolds and extends into humanoid form. That car, ladies and gentlemen, has now fucked right off out of view, the live action rendition of Lockdown's lithe, robotic hunter now taking centre stage. Subsequent transformations find you appreciating the simplicity of the engineering while marvelling at the premium finish of both robot and vehicle modes.
Testament to Peru Kill's success is the praise drawn from all quarters; even movie hating Transformers collectors have given the guy a whirl and come away impressed. And it's deserved praise to Unique Toys indeed, as Peru Kill demonstrates just how far 3P has come in terms of engineering savvy, overall quality and value. An absolute classic. More like this please, 2018.
In at 6 is Iron Factory's Wing Of Tyrant series, though specifically IF-EX20R Tyrant's Wing Red, Starwing. The thoroughly fucking convoluted name aside, this is a brilliant take on the IDW comics Seeker design. The transformation is simple but effective, the articulation simply perfect. Paint is luscious, vibrant and generous and the accessories are both abundant and relevant.
I wanted to rope the whole Seeker gang into this but Starwing is the one who drew me towards Seeker completionism like a moth to a flame. I will own every rendition they make of this figure.
5. Mastermind Creations Reformatted Tyrantron
Taking the number 5 spot is an MMC release and yet another Megatron incarnation to hit this list - the mighty Tyrantron. This comic inspired rendition of the world weary former despot immediately impresses with his champagne tinted silver finish, the modular nature of the sculpt allowing the owner to create Megatron's younger, miner form of old is a fantastic bonus and despite some flaws in poseability, this toy simply has it. Star quality.
The headsculpt in particular, capturing the essence of the turmoil within MTMTE's Megatron is frankly perfect, and should go down on record as one of 3P's very best.
While I will accept that his alt modes are hot garbage (though points for shoehorning a Super Megatron homage in there, and one can never have enough dildo tanks), they compromise nothing about the main event, and what an event this robot is. Tyrantron is one of those figures where strength of character rises above function, and I doubt that even Megatron himself couldn't muster a wry smile over that.
4. Mastermind Creations Reformatted Turben
MMC Turben kicks down Number 4's door, demanding instantly that you 'Weapon up, wallflowers!', and does so as my personal definitive iteration of Whirl despite this toy being a patchwork of designs woven together from the characters various representations in comic media. No - this isn't MTMTE Whirl - yes, it absolutely channels what I love about that crazy bastard into plastic toy form.
The fact that he's one of those rare breed of instantly accessible out of the box 3P transforming robots is but another notch on the wonderfully expressive Turben's kill count.
3. Iron Factory IF-EX24 Cannon Chariot
New toy joy at Number 3, or is it that Iron Factory have just smashed Onslaught out of the park and into orbit with Cannon Chariot? Always one of my favourite G1 toys, this beefy little bugger brings together a dash of nostalgia, a splash of tremendous looking sculpt work and sprinkles supremely poseable hand candy all over the top of this delicious treat.
Of course, as the torso of Bruticus/War Giant (a role he pulls off with aplomb), Cannon Chariot is not likely to remain a standalone piece in many collections, yet still remains a cinch to transform with no compromise to either his robot or vehicle forms to accommodate the fact. Judged on that criteria alone this is special, add in the rest and this this makes for one of IF's most impressive releases to date.
2. Titans Return Trypticon
Trypticon couldn't not be here. And certainly not any lower than second place. There are so many words to be said about Hasbro finally realising the potential of the Titan Class Citybots, but I think I'll leave it to one pic:
Aaand at the top spot it has to be...
1. Unique Toys Peru Kill
A true masterpiece of a toy, Peru Kill translates Michael Bay's tinfoil pornhole aesthetic into one of the most elegantly designed transforming toys of recent memory.
The initial experience is shock and awe as this beautifully painted, practically scale model Lamborghini unfolds and extends into humanoid form. That car, ladies and gentlemen, has now fucked right off out of view, the live action rendition of Lockdown's lithe, robotic hunter now taking centre stage. Subsequent transformations find you appreciating the simplicity of the engineering while marvelling at the premium finish of both robot and vehicle modes.
Testament to Peru Kill's success is the praise drawn from all quarters; even movie hating Transformers collectors have given the guy a whirl and come away impressed. And it's deserved praise to Unique Toys indeed, as Peru Kill demonstrates just how far 3P has come in terms of engineering savvy, overall quality and value. An absolute classic. More like this please, 2018.
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